Do We Really Have to Go There?

Polygamy, I mean. Must we even discuss it? National Geographic brought it up this month, loud and clear on their cover, so yes, we must discuss it. Don't blame me, once it's on the table, it's there like a big, fat blob of something you really don't understand.
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/02/polygamists/anderson-text

I read National Geographic and I simply love it. Somewhere along the way they have added the coolest little crossword puzzle at the back of the book which quizzes you on the information in the issue, sort of like they are making certain you are paying attention. I enjoy a good quiz so I love the crossword. I'm a dork. This month they tackle a couple of good issues, one of which is polygamy and the other is entitled "India's Nomads." The latter is so much more interesting than the polygamists but the polygamists are a little closer to home and are a more relevant issue in the lives of the people in the great country in which I live, so here we are.
The cover shows a seriously unapproachable elderly man in a badly fitting suit and a white cowboy hat. There are three plump, grandmotherly women behind him with that famous polygamist hair we have all been completely mesmerized by when we see these people on the news. The only time they seem to hit the news is when one of the men has perhaps mistakenly married a 14 year old girl and the fallout includes the parading of these incredibly confident and painstakingly coiffed women across the screen while they are either trying to get on about the business of living or on their way to a department of human services court date. The polygamist hair is a whole, incredible subject all on its own. How on God's green earth do they do that? What is up with that flip in the front and how do they get it to stay? I am in awe. I don't want that hair, I am simply in awe. Behind the women who are standing behind their husband on the cover of National Geographic are about a billion children. These kids are their children and grandchildren and such. It is simply incredible.
Being a woman from the south who has never really had a lot of contact with those of the Mormon faith, I have no reference from which to critique the scene laid out in front of me in the National Geographic. There is page after page of pictures of the men, women, and children of, what I have just learned from reading the article are not simply part of the Latter Day Saints, they are of the FLDS, the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints? I am just deducing, I can't say I recall the author of the article pointing it out, but I'm sure he does somewhere. I've only met a few people who were Mormon, the LDS kind, and they were completely indistinguishable from the rest of us. They totally lacked the polygamist hair and I'm certain would rather not be associated with the FLDS in any way, shape or form. The FLDS certainly have their own rich history and their own way of doing things. They are not the same as their LDS cousins. They mean business. They feel that they are building up their families so that they will have a large family around them after they die. They feel that these people will be following them and staying with them in the afterlife. They, therefore, reproduce with abandon.
I have formed some opinions about all of this since reading the article. I have had roughly the same opinion on the legality of polygamy for a long time but I am just now really able to articulate my thoughts on it. I feel it should be legal. There. It's not like I want to be a part of a group of women who are married to John, because I don't feel that this would work well for either of us. I don't understand how anyone could think it is a good idea for that matter. Being married to one person is hard work and one of the hardest things about it is not being irritated at all their little quirks and idiosyncrasies all the live long day. John chews ice really loudly and whistles when he's folding laundry or getting dressed. Both of these things drive me completely insane and make the back of my neck literally hurt. I love, love, love him and think he is measurably the most fascinating, beautiful, and most brilliant man to ever hit the earth. It is all I can do sometimes not to throw stuff at him for whistling and chomping! Do I really need someone else in the house to irritate us? I can't imagine having a grown woman with which to contend. Dear Lord! I think John would also argue that he would prefer not to have someone else in the house constantly poised with a shoe they intend to fling at his head while he mindlessly folds the pile of socks on the bed. He has all he can handle right here and I am pretty sure he would not sign up for another wife. We are nice, but not all the time.
I think the whole thing should be legal, however. My caveat here is that there is a legal age of marriage and this needs to be respected. I don't know what the legal age is in any state, actually, but I feel fairly strongly that it should be 18, but that's just me. Who are we to say these people are wrong? We can say they're nutty but I think we have to respect their religion and their beliefs. There are many things about just about every religion that I question or even have been known to roll my eyes at. I can't understand the rationale behind the statuary and the relics so often displayed in Catholic churches. I ran a marathon in San Antonio, TX and was completely taken aback by the statues of Mary in so many of the yards of the homes I ran past. I don't understand it but I completely respect it. I think some of it bordered on tacky but I don't think I could support a home owner's association's initiative to make them hide their Marys. I don't understand nor do I care for the head covering used by Muslim women. The Burkas are considerably more agitating. I don't care for them and don't understand them. I don't like them nor do I like how they make me feel that the women inside them need to be liberated and allowed to feel the breeze on their heads and to wear whatever they darn well please. I do understand that there is a deep cultural and religious belief system here that I am completely being flippant about, but this is my blog. I am just writing and thinking... I don't like the burkas and head coverings but completely support their right to wear them. I don't think anyone has the right to tell them that they shouldn't or that it's wrong.
I feel the same way about the polygamists. You knew I was going there, didn't you. I feel strongly that it is crazy to marry yourself into a family with a bunch of other wives. The men don't look like men I would want to hang out with or debate anything with over a plate of fried chicken but they have the right to live their lives, marry a bunch of wives, and irritate as many women by chomping and whistling as their little hearts desire. We don't have the right to tell them they are wrong. We have the right to make sure everyone in our country gets to practice their religion unencumbered. Even seriously unapproachable people or those with incredibly embarrassing hair.