A Message For My Daughter

Message for my daughter

When you were born all of the air left the room. I know you’ve heard me tell that story before but it is true, it was truly a phenomenal moment for everyone present. You entered the world as a small, pink being, vibrant and containing all the beauty and potential God could possibly pack into a baby. No one talked for a good couple of minutes; we just looked at you, as we were awestruck and not breathing. You cried and so did we. You were born commanding the attention of those around you and continue to do just that as a teenager. A teenager with all the beauty and potential God could possibly pack in.
Watching you tackle your teen world is painful for me. You are not a girl who runs with a pack, although there usually seems to be one hovering around somewhere. The girls you choose to befriend are strong and funny and I love them very much. However, I think you are finding, as do all of us who do not run well with a pack, that girl world is hard and those strong, funny girls we love tend to hurt your feelings, as well as you tend to hurt their feelings, too. Friendships are not resilient to the competition for the attention of boys, the competition for the significance given by being seen as a member of dominant “pack” of girls, and the realities which come from being a part of small community. Friends are going to come and go and it is hard on a girl who is new to girl world and all the heart ache which comes with it.
All I can think of this morning as I listen to you and your music coming from your room as you deal with the blows dealt your way today is how I wish for you an ability to see. Vision comes from inside, not your eyes. I wish for you a vision of what actually is, an ability to see from an aerial view, and the maturity to understand perspective. Please find your significance somewhere other than being a part of a group. How a group of people feel about you really has no bearing on who you are, don’t depend on those around you to dictate your self esteem. Respect your own beautiful self enough to know that who you are is not often how a group views you.
Have some way to find your center and to be able to draw on that when you need it. Have an outlet for expression. Most people don’t understand how important that is but I believe you do. You have too much to express to keep it all inside. You and those around you will benefit from the beauty of your expression.
Do not ever color within the lines. Ever. There are no limits for how far you can go in any arena, the problems you can solve, the love you have to give, the heights you can reach, or the boundaries you can test. Don’t let anyone’s idea of boundaries stop you from creating your own destiny. You define the lines in which you color.
Love everyone. The only way to be happy is to love. I wish happiness and love for you, always. You are so loveable and deserve the softness of love around you all the time. Your ability to make those around you feel as though they are loved is a gift. I wish for you that you understand that love is what it all boils down to, love is where God is, it is where we find peace, it is the center. Don’t ever dwell where there is no love, you will know that place when you feel it. Only dwell in love.
Grow. As a family, I have found that our unhappiest times have been when we are stagnating. Grow and learn all the time. Grow in your abilities and in your strength. Make sure there is always opportunity for growth physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make friends who value growth and experiencing the excitement of new people and places. Always make new friends. Always grow so that you are always experiencing all that this beautiful world has to offer.
Your father and I love you more than we can even express. You still have the ability to take our breath away when you enter a room with your beauty and vibrancy. You embody life, strength and love. Please don’t ache for those who will make you stagnate. Please don’t spend your precious moments on earth on the inability to fit in and conform to anyone’s idea of who you should be or what you should do. Find your center, create your own lines, stretch as high as you can, be who you like, and love.