Read Engage

The Family that Sweats Together

2010-05-07T12:06:00.000-05:00

John and I had our first child almost 17 years ago. He was followed 2 years later by a beautiful baby girl. Four years after her, we had another son. We read books before bed every night as well as every opportunity we had. We sang songs, learned the alphabet and the presidents, learned the continents. We felt from the beginning that it was our responsibility to help them to understand the importance of self discipline and to have the ability to set goals and then to have the tenacity and follow through to reach those goals. This is where sports came in...
Luke played soccer and baseball with little interest in anything other than the grass below his feet, and the bugs crawling around in it. When he was 7 years old I signed him up for a swim team and he took to it like a duck to water, please excuse that metaphor. He would insist on going to practice even when there was no practice to go to. He swam laps like most kids would play video games, he lost himself in it and would completely lose track of time. Luke was, and is, beautiful in the water and his soul seemed to crave it. The rewards were huge. He excelled and grew as an athlete and as a person. He learned how hard it is to achieve goals and that others are always working hard, even harder than you, to achieve the same ones. He learned how rewarding it is to hit the wall at the end of the pool and to know that everyone watching knows how hard you worked to get to that wall in record time. Luke was a force of nature. Even more, his tenacity and will was a force of nature.
When Luke was 15 his shoulder pain became unbearable and we took him in for a looksy by the orthopedic surgeon. The result was tendons tearing away from bone, among various other issues. I cried. Luke said ummmm can I take a break from swimming? I cried again. Now my big, 6'4" son is a runner and a pretty good one, at that! He has taken all that tenacity and turned it into a strong running ability and a never quit attitude. He certainly gives his dad a run for his money during their Sunday morning long runs!
Madison was a natural swimmer and I had to force her to swim with her brother on a team just to get her off the bleachers. She shares none of his tenacity when it comes to sports but she is such a natural and gifted athlete. Her ability to gracefullly push her body to move faster and stronger is art in motion. When she was swimming, her butterfly was magnificent and brought about thoughts of dolphins gliding through the waves. It was beautiful. She raised her hand to request to quit swimming as Luke put his swimming backpack on the hook in the garage for the last time. Now she is a runner. She ran cross country for her high school and now she runs with me. She pushes me to run faster and is simply a delight to be with during every single run. Our favorite run is downtown in the Vanderbilt/Belmont area. We like to run through Hillsboro Village and stop to see the kittens running amok in the little jewelry/art store. Obviously, when there are no roses to smell, you gotta stop and pet the kittens!
Samuel plays every doggon sport he possibly can. Baseball, football and basketball take up most of his time. This year he joined the school wrestling team and had an absolute blast. Come to think of it, Samuel has a blast at everything he does. As soon as he gets home from school he runs out into the street and is met by a hoard of boys his age all swinging bats or bouncing balls. They play until we make them come in and dabble at the dreaded homework or eat food they swear they do not want. I wish I were to busy to get hungry! Sam is simply fun and is an athlete among athletes.
John and I are runners. John dabbled in football, basketball and then in college played a little rugby. Running has been wonderful for him as it has kept his blood pressure in a maneagable and shockingly low range. He is a big stress tornado and the running keeps this in check. We are avid runners and hit the street almost every day. I love him for this, and other things.
We practice yoga as regularly as we possibly can. John and I love to attend Hot Yoga and recently our teenage children have fallen in love with it, too. Hot Yoga takes me to the brink of my endurance and leaves me feeling cleansed and calm. We sweat buckets when we attend the 90 minute yoga class and each of us leaves with 2 sweat and toxin soaked towels. I am always amazed by how heavy the bags are when we hoist them into the back of the car. I like to think that all the bad stuff from our bodies in now going to be washed out in the laundry.
This brings me to my laundry. We went for years with clothes with big swooshes of color missing due to the wayward towel soaked in pool water, and its enormous amounts of clorine, being thrown into the laundry basket. Now that four of us are runners and one of us is a sweaty, smelly 10 year old boy, we have the most horrendous smelling laundry in town. More fun than the smell is picking it up out of baskets to put into the laundry. It is not water making all of our laundry wet, it is sweat. I have sweaty laundry. I have a sweaty family
All that sweat is a symbol of health, energy and of course, tenacity. We are a family of do-ers, of winners, and of sweat. John and I can look at our kids and say they have been raised to set goals and to work hard to achieve them, to realize their dreams and to have the self discipline to accomplish anything they want. We are a family who sweats...and our laundry proudly stinks.

Yet another message to my daughter...and my sons

2010-05-04T13:19:00.004-05:00

I went for a run this morning and it was simply amazing. I run with an iPod most of the time, at least when I can find it and it is charged. A lot of the music on it belongs to my children:Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna, Cage the Elephant, and Sara Bereilles. I enjoy all the music as it is great for running and I feel I get to connect with my children on a new level by connecting through their music. Music is the voice of generations and their collective message often is communicated through their music. I love my children, their message, and their music.
The weather this morning was perfect, the sky was the bluest I've ever seen, the grass was its very greenest, the trees are freshly green with new leaves, and the torrential downpours of the weekend seem to have cleaned everything revealing startling beauty. The music was equally as interesting and I focused in on some of the lyrics which really struck a chord with me this morning. Sara Bereilles has a song, Fairytale, which is thought provoking and just lovely. I love the message in it and I love the song. A few of the lines really hit me and although I had never really thought about it until this morning, it's a message I would love for my children to hear it, too.

"You worry 'bout the maiden
Though you know she's only waiting
Spent her whole life being graded
On the sanctity of patience

And a dumb appreciation
But the story needs some mending
And a better happy ending
'Cause I don't want the next best thing
No, no, I don't want the next best thing"

I felt a little jolt this morning when I actually heard these lyrics. I heard the part about her spending her whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience and I felt a little twinge of contempt. My thoughts automatically went to feeling like a sheep which is herded or a character in a novel who is manipulated by those in power or who are seeking power into spending their whole lives doing the mundane or the repetitive in order to create a common good. I began feeling that perhaps patience is overrated. Perhaps the common good is also overrated. Maybe we have overrated common wisdom and old adages long enough.Maybe a person who is fulfilled and self confident doesn't have to wait and be patient for patient's sake. Maybe it's okay to jump when you get the chance, chase things down and conquer.
I don't want to be patient and wait because someone tells me it is a preferable character trait. I don't want that for my kids, either. I want them to chase dreams with abandon.I want them to make things happen, not let things happen to them. I feel it is good to be patient and wait for good timing, but it is preferable to spend that time making preparations and working toward the goal. I want happiness for my kids, John and me and I don't think that is found waiting.

I will celebrate.

2010-05-04T10:29:00.005-05:00

I went for a run this morning and it was beautiful. My city has just experienced what some people are labeling a "500 year flood" and the area is simply devestated, as are the people who live here. We live in one of the most beautiful place on the planet with rolling hills, 4 distinct seasons, clean rivers and lakes, an abundance of wildlive and trees and a vibrant downtown area with everyone a person could want regarding culture, entertainment and history. In one weekend we received nearly half our normal YEARLY rainfall and are watching people's homes and businesses being destroyed before our eyes. I spent all weekend watching the devastation non stop on the local news, as the national news outlets decided to completely ignore it. Today I am leaving the tv off to reflect and attempt to find a new normal.
The school my children attend decided to open back up this morning and my kids unhappily left to attend. Luke's Facebook status this morning read, "The entire city has become Atlantis yet my school is still intact." The neighborhood kids are still out of school due to the flooding at their schools and they are here at my house, though. I can hear their sweet voices from the other room as they play video games. I can't believe how blessed I am to be here.
After my children left for school I was able to go for a nice run. I ran five miles on the trails through my neighborhood and was able to really stretch out physically and mentally for a little while. The contrast of the beautiful blue skies and the weekend of destruction we've just been through was startling. I don't think the skies have ever looked as blue as they did this morning and I am sure the grass has never been so green. The retirement community at the end of the neighborhood has a sort of "lake" in which resides a number of ducks. I counted 11 baby ducks out for a swim as I went by the first time this morning. As I returned on the same sidewalk, they were on the bank of the "lake" and their almost feather covering was sort of fuzzy looking as if they had been rubbed dry with a towel. The birds were making all the noise they could muster and it sounded to me as if they had been quiet too long during the few days of storms and decided to let the world know they were okay and perhaps having a little party to celebrate the sunshine.
I am going to have a little party of my own to celebrate the sunshine. My incredible run was only the beginning and the rest of the week will be just as rewarding. I am celebrating the amazing bunch of kids who honor me with their presence even when my children aren't here. I am celebrating my children who honor me with their love and with the opportunity to be a part of their lives. I am celebrating my oldest son having attended two proms in a month and made it home safely each time. His girlfriend is beautiful and I am in awe of her poise and lovely demeanor. I can't wait to get to know her. I am going to celebrate her, as well. I will celebrate Justin who graces us with his presence on the weekends. He is our friend and is quickly becoming our family and I am so grateful. I am celebrating Samuel for fighting back when he is pushed too far and then for feeling the emotional pain which comes with hurting, and being hurt by, a friend. I am celebrating a husband who is trustworthy, honorable, and honest. The world could use a few more men like that. I will celebrate my dry home.
I'm not so sure I would have thought to celebrate were I not constantly confronted by the devestation around me right now. People surrounding my community have lost everything including jobs, clothes, homes, pictures and memories, and people they loved. The contrast of the sky from one day to the next and understanding that my need to celebrate is caused by the contrast of devestation to my lack thereof is stunning. I will celebrate and will understand and never take it for granted.

It looks like I'll read anything.

2010-02-14T09:43:00.002-06:00

I am aware that I am fascinated by the darndest things. My newest evidence is the fact that I noticed this article on UTNE, stopped to click on it and actually read the entire thing, with interest. http://www.utne.com/Science-Technology/A-Test-of-Patience-Pitch-Drop-Experiment.aspx

The article showcases an experiment begun by a professor in Australia in 1927 to highlight the differences and similarities in fluids and solids. He put some pitch in a flask and let it settle at the bottom, an act which took several years, and opened the bottom so that it might be able to form drops and then fall to the awaiting container below, which takes years.

The experiment, while interesting, is not as interesting as the fact that an article has been written about it and that anyone would read it. I happen to love stories like this one. I actually read entire books about such arbitrary and distantly interesting subjects. One of my favorite authors is A.J. Jacobs. I don't think anyone would accuse Mr. Jacobs of writing great, Pulitzer Prize winning books but he does write incredibly interesting and entertaining books for people who like to read about droplets of pitch which might drop to an awaiting container every 12 years of so. The Know It All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World is one of my all time favorite books and I realize, for those of you who are familiar with it, how silly that make me seem. Jacobs committed to a year of reading the Encyclopedia Britannica in its entirety. He journaled every day about the encyclopedia's contents and his life while he was slogging through the volumes. He wrote of how the volumes felt when you touched them, how much room they took up in his home, his struggle with finding time to accomplish his task, and his marriage throughout the year. It was funny and incredibly interesting, in a pitch dropping sort of way. Reading that book made me feel like I was having a nice conversation with an interesting person every day about something interesting. It was better than seeing that person at work every day and being stuck in a conversation about pitch droplets and such without being able to shut it off at will. However, if it is a book, you can close it and open it whenever you feel like it. That's the perfect friendship! His book about attempting to live within the rules set forth in the Old Testament of the Bible is another one of my favorite books of all time. Not a literary award winner, by any stretch of the imagination, but well written, incredibly interesting and entertaining, and thought provoking.

There is a web cam focused on a pond somewhere in Africa which has captured an embarrassing amount of my time. If you watched it long enough, you could catch a glimpse of a family of elephants drinking at the pond or even lion or two. Years ago, when I had more time at home to watch it, there was a crocodile living in the pond which added just the right amount of gripping intrigue. Was the crocodile going to find a meal out of the pond drinking animals while I was sitting at the kitchen table eating my raisin bran and watching my laptop intently? It never did. I only saw the elephants once and mostly watched the beautiful stillness of the pond and the trees around it.

I suppose the exercise of sitting and reading about pitch drops, a guy reading the Encyclopedia Britannica in a year or trying to live according to the rules of the Old Testament when he isn't really sure he even believes in God at all, or watching a pond cam in Botswana where nothing is moving at all is meditative. It is a way of being still. Perhaps it is a way of being actively engaged in something unemotional for a little while so the heart can rest while the brain is still active, even if it is just a little. Just in case I've moved you over to my pitch dropping ways, there's a pitch drop web cam. Welcome to my world.

Do We Really Have to Go There?

2010-01-30T20:56:00.005-06:00

Polygamy, I mean. Must we even discuss it? National Geographic brought it up this month, loud and clear on their cover, so yes, we must discuss it. Don't blame me, once it's on the table, it's there like a big, fat blob of something you really don't understand.
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/02/polygamists/anderson-text

I read National Geographic and I simply love it. Somewhere along the way they have added the coolest little crossword puzzle at the back of the book which quizzes you on the information in the issue, sort of like they are making certain you are paying attention. I enjoy a good quiz so I love the crossword. I'm a dork. This month they tackle a couple of good issues, one of which is polygamy and the other is entitled "India's Nomads." The latter is so much more interesting than the polygamists but the polygamists are a little closer to home and are a more relevant issue in the lives of the people in the great country in which I live, so here we are.
The cover shows a seriously unapproachable elderly man in a badly fitting suit and a white cowboy hat. There are three plump, grandmotherly women behind him with that famous polygamist hair we have all been completely mesmerized by when we see these people on the news. The only time they seem to hit the news is when one of the men has perhaps mistakenly married a 14 year old girl and the fallout includes the parading of these incredibly confident and painstakingly coiffed women across the screen while they are either trying to get on about the business of living or on their way to a department of human services court date. The polygamist hair is a whole, incredible subject all on its own. How on God's green earth do they do that? What is up with that flip in the front and how do they get it to stay? I am in awe. I don't want that hair, I am simply in awe. Behind the women who are standing behind their husband on the cover of National Geographic are about a billion children. These kids are their children and grandchildren and such. It is simply incredible.
Being a woman from the south who has never really had a lot of contact with those of the Mormon faith, I have no reference from which to critique the scene laid out in front of me in the National Geographic. There is page after page of pictures of the men, women, and children of, what I have just learned from reading the article are not simply part of the Latter Day Saints, they are of the FLDS, the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints? I am just deducing, I can't say I recall the author of the article pointing it out, but I'm sure he does somewhere. I've only met a few people who were Mormon, the LDS kind, and they were completely indistinguishable from the rest of us. They totally lacked the polygamist hair and I'm certain would rather not be associated with the FLDS in any way, shape or form. The FLDS certainly have their own rich history and their own way of doing things. They are not the same as their LDS cousins. They mean business. They feel that they are building up their families so that they will have a large family around them after they die. They feel that these people will be following them and staying with them in the afterlife. They, therefore, reproduce with abandon.
I have formed some opinions about all of this since reading the article. I have had roughly the same opinion on the legality of polygamy for a long time but I am just now really able to articulate my thoughts on it. I feel it should be legal. There. It's not like I want to be a part of a group of women who are married to John, because I don't feel that this would work well for either of us. I don't understand how anyone could think it is a good idea for that matter. Being married to one person is hard work and one of the hardest things about it is not being irritated at all their little quirks and idiosyncrasies all the live long day. John chews ice really loudly and whistles when he's folding laundry or getting dressed. Both of these things drive me completely insane and make the back of my neck literally hurt. I love, love, love him and think he is measurably the most fascinating, beautiful, and most brilliant man to ever hit the earth. It is all I can do sometimes not to throw stuff at him for whistling and chomping! Do I really need someone else in the house to irritate us? I can't imagine having a grown woman with which to contend. Dear Lord! I think John would also argue that he would prefer not to have someone else in the house constantly poised with a shoe they intend to fling at his head while he mindlessly folds the pile of socks on the bed. He has all he can handle right here and I am pretty sure he would not sign up for another wife. We are nice, but not all the time.
I think the whole thing should be legal, however. My caveat here is that there is a legal age of marriage and this needs to be respected. I don't know what the legal age is in any state, actually, but I feel fairly strongly that it should be 18, but that's just me. Who are we to say these people are wrong? We can say they're nutty but I think we have to respect their religion and their beliefs. There are many things about just about every religion that I question or even have been known to roll my eyes at. I can't understand the rationale behind the statuary and the relics so often displayed in Catholic churches. I ran a marathon in San Antonio, TX and was completely taken aback by the statues of Mary in so many of the yards of the homes I ran past. I don't understand it but I completely respect it. I think some of it bordered on tacky but I don't think I could support a home owner's association's initiative to make them hide their Marys. I don't understand nor do I care for the head covering used by Muslim women. The Burkas are considerably more agitating. I don't care for them and don't understand them. I don't like them nor do I like how they make me feel that the women inside them need to be liberated and allowed to feel the breeze on their heads and to wear whatever they darn well please. I do understand that there is a deep cultural and religious belief system here that I am completely being flippant about, but this is my blog. I am just writing and thinking... I don't like the burkas and head coverings but completely support their right to wear them. I don't think anyone has the right to tell them that they shouldn't or that it's wrong.
I feel the same way about the polygamists. You knew I was going there, didn't you. I feel strongly that it is crazy to marry yourself into a family with a bunch of other wives. The men don't look like men I would want to hang out with or debate anything with over a plate of fried chicken but they have the right to live their lives, marry a bunch of wives, and irritate as many women by chomping and whistling as their little hearts desire. We don't have the right to tell them they are wrong. We have the right to make sure everyone in our country gets to practice their religion unencumbered. Even seriously unapproachable people or those with incredibly embarrassing hair.

A Message For My Daughter

2010-01-24T10:18:00.001-06:00

Message for my daughter

When you were born all of the air left the room. I know you’ve heard me tell that story before but it is true, it was truly a phenomenal moment for everyone present. You entered the world as a small, pink being, vibrant and containing all the beauty and potential God could possibly pack into a baby. No one talked for a good couple of minutes; we just looked at you, as we were awestruck and not breathing. You cried and so did we. You were born commanding the attention of those around you and continue to do just that as a teenager. A teenager with all the beauty and potential God could possibly pack in.
Watching you tackle your teen world is painful for me. You are not a girl who runs with a pack, although there usually seems to be one hovering around somewhere. The girls you choose to befriend are strong and funny and I love them very much. However, I think you are finding, as do all of us who do not run well with a pack, that girl world is hard and those strong, funny girls we love tend to hurt your feelings, as well as you tend to hurt their feelings, too. Friendships are not resilient to the competition for the attention of boys, the competition for the significance given by being seen as a member of dominant “pack” of girls, and the realities which come from being a part of small community. Friends are going to come and go and it is hard on a girl who is new to girl world and all the heart ache which comes with it.
All I can think of this morning as I listen to you and your music coming from your room as you deal with the blows dealt your way today is how I wish for you an ability to see. Vision comes from inside, not your eyes. I wish for you a vision of what actually is, an ability to see from an aerial view, and the maturity to understand perspective. Please find your significance somewhere other than being a part of a group. How a group of people feel about you really has no bearing on who you are, don’t depend on those around you to dictate your self esteem. Respect your own beautiful self enough to know that who you are is not often how a group views you.
Have some way to find your center and to be able to draw on that when you need it. Have an outlet for expression. Most people don’t understand how important that is but I believe you do. You have too much to express to keep it all inside. You and those around you will benefit from the beauty of your expression.
Do not ever color within the lines. Ever. There are no limits for how far you can go in any arena, the problems you can solve, the love you have to give, the heights you can reach, or the boundaries you can test. Don’t let anyone’s idea of boundaries stop you from creating your own destiny. You define the lines in which you color.
Love everyone. The only way to be happy is to love. I wish happiness and love for you, always. You are so loveable and deserve the softness of love around you all the time. Your ability to make those around you feel as though they are loved is a gift. I wish for you that you understand that love is what it all boils down to, love is where God is, it is where we find peace, it is the center. Don’t ever dwell where there is no love, you will know that place when you feel it. Only dwell in love.
Grow. As a family, I have found that our unhappiest times have been when we are stagnating. Grow and learn all the time. Grow in your abilities and in your strength. Make sure there is always opportunity for growth physically, emotionally, and mentally. Make friends who value growth and experiencing the excitement of new people and places. Always make new friends. Always grow so that you are always experiencing all that this beautiful world has to offer.
Your father and I love you more than we can even express. You still have the ability to take our breath away when you enter a room with your beauty and vibrancy. You embody life, strength and love. Please don’t ache for those who will make you stagnate. Please don’t spend your precious moments on earth on the inability to fit in and conform to anyone’s idea of who you should be or what you should do. Find your center, create your own lines, stretch as high as you can, be who you like, and love.

My Thoughts on Something Rising

2009-12-03T12:00:00.004-06:00

I could read Haven Kimmel's books once a week. I started my Haven Kimmel book reading career with A Girl Named Zippy and She Got Up Off the Couch. Both of these are memoirs of her childhood in Indiana, which usually is a set up for a snooze fest, but Kimmel's use of language and unique ability to turn a phrase into something noteworthy makes these books simply wonderful. I took a chance and grabbed Something Rising off the library shelf one day, went home and looked at the first page, and didn't stand back up until I had finished a large portion of the book.

Again, Kimmel's entertaining use of the English language flourishes in the pages. The reader slowly absorbed into the life of a young woman, a pool hustler by trade, and is then invited to follow her through a small portion of her journey. While reading the book I learned a different perspective on the game of pool and of the life of an independent and strong

young woman who, in the book, was traveling through life without a lot of hope or a lot of trust in those around her. Her life and her companions seemed pretty bleak until she was strong enough to outlast them.

The end is not exactly a thrill yet it is satisfying and deeply thoughtful. Kimmel treats the people and the circumstances with respect while she examines the underbelly of bad guys and the tough, beautiful exterior of the good guys. Her treatment of the people is inspiring.

I wish I could read a Haven Kimmel book a week. Mostly what I can do is recommend them as often as possible. She is one of the most talented writers I've ever read and I hope she continues publishing because I intend to keep reading

Cookbooks!

2009-12-03T10:48:00.006-06:00

I have a cookbook weakness. I love them, love them, love them but I am only recently able to take the time to cook out of them. I have spent years sitting at a swimming pool 6 days a week or so watching my beautiful, dolphin like children practice on their year round swim team. Because I have a mental deficit, evidently, whenever we have moved, we have refused to consider proximity to any pool. Therefore, I not only have spent insane amounts of time sitting on bleachers, I have had at least a 30 minute drive to the pool and a 30 minute drive home. Obviously, this hasn't left a lot of time for cooking dinner so we've made due with attempting to eat as healthy as possible in restaurants, eating sandwiches, and making good use of the crock pot.

My oldest son had an MRI which showed some pretty major shoulder damage and was given the choice to either quit swimming for at least a while or have surgery. After very little thought he decided to quit swimming. His younger sister and brother followed suit and now we live a swimming pool free existence. It is marvelous and has improved my quality of life considerably. I still spend some time picking up and dropping off at wrestling practice, football practice, basketball practice, cross country practice, you get the idea. But my incredibly responsible oldest son with all the shoulder damage now has his drivers' license and all the practices are closer leaving my husband available for bleacher duty.

I am now free to cook. My plan is to work my way through my cookbook collection and to add some new ones to my shelves. I will document them here just for kicks. I think I'll start yesterday...

I went to the grocery without a list or a plan the other day and am resorting to some old standbys until I can put together a plan. It was a crock pot day and I made a pork roast in it using a recipe from the Fix It and Forget It Cookbook. I didn't even have to look it up because it has very few ingredients and I love it so much. I spent several years as a vegan and after having backslidden one day with a rack of ribs after a marathon, I cannot get enough meat. I actually wake up thinking about it. I dislike how it makes me feel and the idea of the way the animals are treated gives me the most horrible guilt episodes...however, I am for the time being eating enormous amounts of meat.

I started with a pork roast. I don't know any other way to describe it other than it was a pork roast. It was also split in two because...well, they always are. In the crock pot I put a can of cranberry sauce. I've used whole berry cranberry sauce and the smooth, jelly sort and I prefer the whole berry kind. I do like to use the kind without corn syrup and with all discernible ingredients such as sugar, but the cheapo, regular corn syrup kind was actually in my pantry so I used it. I then added a tall bottle of sweet chili sauce, a table spoon or so of brown sugar and a little sesame seed oil. I don't remember the recipe saying anything about the sesame seed oil but I like to add it because it is good.

I stirred it all together and put the pork roast in and sort of spooned the mixture on top of the pork so it was nice and covered. I turned the crock pot on low and covered it with the lid. It only takes around 6 hours for the meat to finish cooking and the texture is wonderful. I like to serve it with some good rolls and this time we had a bag of sourdough rolls. I also cooked some kale so we at least had some vegetable type matter.

Listing the "books of the year?"

2009-12-03T06:53:00.002-06:00

It is December and it's time for all the top ten lists and top 100 lists and such. I love the literary top ten lists and am planning to do my own next year. The remaining questions: How does one go about putting together a list about which people might care? What books do you read? Do you choose from new releases only? Do I read fiction and nonfiction?

I think I will stick to the NYT best seller list and I think I will read nonfiction and fiction. That'll be fun. I think I will also do a list with classics because I think they are under reported upon outside the classroom. Top ten lists also need to be broadened and I think I will find a way, how about a bottom 10 literary list? Bottom 10 magazines? Bottom 10 public personalities? Tiger's got that covered for this month. It is only a matter of time until Elin will capture his spot, I'm sure.

I guess a natural following thought to the top ten list meanderings would be why on earth we need to rate things the way we do. Do we need them so we feel inadequate because we haven't even recognize any of the names on the lists? Do we need to relate to the list and feel validated because we have so much time on our hands that we do, indeed recognize the names? Do we need to scrutinize the judgment of the author. I have a feeling it is a little bit of all of them and that's cool.

I have no lists for 2009. I've been busy. I have survived my 40th year on earth. I have helped my three kids survive their 16th, 14, and 10th year on earth. My marriage is intact for the 19th time and I think it is 19 times better than it was 19 years ago. We survived the worst recession since the depression and our entire income relies on real estate. That's saying something for the man I've depended on for 19 years, he's smart AND tough. I finished my degree. I made new friends and lost one. My home is cluttered and messy but it is prettier than it was last year. I read some very good books but I don't think I finished enough to rate them. That's my next job.

Blue Collar Brilliance

2009-12-02T10:20:00.004-06:00

I love Utne magazine. The magazine gleans its content from other internet and print sources to create a compilation of thoughts and ideas in one neat source. I read the magazine and visit it online, as well. The article catching my attention most this month is Blue Collar Brilliance. http://www.utne.com/Spirituality/Blue-Collar-Brilliance-Intelligence.aspx

The author explains how is mother "shaped her identity" as a diner waitress while he was a child. He writes about he and his father spending time at back tables waiting for her shift to end and how the shift would typically proceed. The focus in the article is not his mother, diner waitresses or him, it is the intelligence factor which is largely overlooked in the blue collar workers. He makes his point that there are well documented alternative ways to measure intelligence and that the intelligence needed to perform the tasks of the labor class is under reported and rarely recognized. The piece is not an ode to the blue collar worker, it is a reminder that we don't know everything about intelligence.

I read the article last night before I turned the lights out to sleep. I woke up thinking about it this morning. I have been a firm believer in multiple intelligences for years and am certain that we will be discovering new forms for many years to come. The author of the article points out that in the west, we depend upon verbal and mathematical skills to test IQ. I feel that we depend on these too often in assessing what a person can do and on how much that skill set is worth monetarily.

I was a waitress for several years and I can attest to the fact that there are brilliant waiters and waitresses as well as there are those in that profession which astound those around them that they can actually carry out the tasks involved in waiting tables without hurting themselves as well as others. There are food servers who are as politically astute and well read as anyone on the planet and there are many who fit a stereotype as gum smacking, ignorance spewing knuckleheads who have never had an intelligent thought on purpose in their entire lives. It doesn't take a high IQ to be a waiter or waitress, but it doesn't require a high IQ to not become one, either.

In order to prove my point, I will use doctors as the well educated, largely considered to be the epitome of intelligentsia example. I have met doctors who were seemingly brilliant and at least well read. There are doctors out there who actually know their field so well they define it and redefine it for others. They help people heal, they find new ways to introduce healing into the body, and they help to facilitate healing by getting to the root of the problem within a sick person. I have also had contact with doctors who were literally babbling idiots with little concern for humanity or little else than what they were having for lunch. There are doctors out there who never read a newspaper, book, or magazine and who amazingly enough, are well respected members of the their community simply because they had the where with all to respond well to test questions in high school and the tenacity to remain in the university community long enough to attend and graduate from medical school. It doesn't take a high IQ to become a doctor. At least, it doesn't take a high IQ when we measure IQ the way we measure them at the present time.

The Utne article is good. It is a good one for conversation over a glass of wine and it is a good one to keep in mind the next time stereotypes go flying around a room. The waitress bringing you your waffle may be a genius with a better aptitude for judging character than you. The doctor conducting your physical might be an idiot with a beanie baby collection he is counting on to fund his retirement. Be kind either way, they both may have a kid sitting at the next booth who is watching, listening and remember.

Rise and Shine

2009-12-02T09:51:00.002-06:00

Anna Quindlen's Rise and Shine left me with a feeling of belonging, loneliness, and wishing there could be more to the story. The book is a fictional account of a the lives of two sisters and their relationships. Quindlen accomplishes dragging the reader through their lives and their emotions while gently allowing the reader's love for them to grow, as if they were family, too. The character's flaws make them family and their strength makes them loved.

The story itself is interesting and leaves the ending for the actual end. It is unpredictable. The story here is not the story but Quindlen's observations throughout the book. Her insight into the personalities. Even the protagonist's emotional distance adds an intriguing dimension to the book. She is present yet she is not, her life is the story yet really she is being used by the reader to glimpse the lives of those around her. Her reactions to the action surrounding her is muted. Quindlen is a subtle portrayer of character and her words seem to land lightly on the message leaving the reader waiting and with shallow breathing to read on to understand a little more about the family and their predicament.

Rise and Shine is a book to be read when you have time to finish the whole thing. The book left me relating to the characters in such a way that I felt as though I was part of their flawed and beautiful family. I felt the twinge of loneliness after the last page had been read because I knew I wouldn't see those people again and I was already beginning to miss them. I needed a sequel or at least a dream of the family I had joined so that I could feel their presence again and know that I am not alone in my flawed existence.

Afternoon With Madison

2009-11-30T09:42:00.006-06:00

I spent yesterday afternoon with my fantastic daughter and our wonderful friend, Kelly. We shopped for jeans for Madison (not my favorite activity) and followed that by eating sushi at Zumi. It was fantastic and we ate until we thought we might explode. Zumi is a great place to eat but every time I go I notice that I am sitting at a table with the only people in the place. I wonder if I this incredible eating establishment is my best kept secret? I hope not because I really want it to stick around. I cannot consume enough sushi, nor can I afford enough sushi to keep this place in business on my own.
Next stop was A Thousand Faces for perusing. I am a practical person and haven't been able to free myself from the dollars it actually takes to purchase the beautiful and touching items in this store. So many of them are by local artists or at least not so well known artists. As far as I can tell, there are no Thomas Kincaid products in the entire place so it is a safe environment. My husband actually takes me to this store on our anniversary so I can walk around and giggle at the cards and gawk at the art. My daughter makes fun of me because I swear every time we go there that I can reproduce the emotion behind the art I love myself, in my basement. I tell her that we will buy a canvas and just make it ourselves. So far, we haven't.
We took our friend Kelly there yesterday and spent an hour looking around. She loved it as much as we do. One of my favorite artists who has quite a bit of product in the store is whoever it is who does the Curly Girl Designs. They are at the top of the post. I found a calendar with one for every month and I could actually justify purchasing it! I am so happy.
Nashville is fortunate to have A Thousand Faces and I am fortunate to love people who will hang out there with me. Art should be loved.

Sushi Sunday!

2009-11-29T09:53:00.002-06:00

Today is the day I eat sushi. It doesn't have to be Sunday to eat sushi but it is good to understand that there is a day for it just in case a week goes by without remembering to eat sushi. Today I get to take the most wonderful daughter in the universe to buy some jeans, eat sushi, and perhaps take a yoga class. Therefore, I proclaim this Sushi Sunday.

It's Saturday and I have new books!

2009-11-28T17:36:00.003-06:00

John and I walked to the bookstore this morning and came home with a stack of books and a magazine. I am so excited! I have a few things to finish up for the semester and I can attack the stack in earnest. Because I am taking classes, I don't have time to read the books I want to read as often as I would like. I am enjoying school but it is like having my hands tied behind my back, I didn't know how much I would miss my hands until they weren't accessible. Okay, not really, I would always know how much I would miss my hands but you get the point.

Note to Books-A-Million: Your presentation stinks. The whole bookstore experience is lost on you and I have to really, really want a book to hang out and look through the selection long enough to choose one. There is no warmth in your store, nothing that says, "stay, peruse, be mesmerized by the vast amounts of knowledge and intellectual entertainment within these walls." What I get when I walk into your store is, "this is the armpit of mass marketing at its finest. It's too bad we have opened stores in every suburban corner of the universe and have made the bookstore experience comparable to walking into Walmart." To add insult to injury, in order to pay for my hard earned selection, I have to chat with the clerk about why I don't want to pay $20 in order to become some sort of dues paying member of the store I don't even want to visit. With my membership I get the benefit of saving some measly percentage off my purchase. I don't buy coupons and I don't plan to buy into the membership of the store, either. Who came up with that brilliant idea? As soon as I got that point across, the clerk announced that with my purchase I qualified to received my choice of the magazines on a flyer he happily held up for me. Okay, no. I don't need the magazines and this is the entire reason I stopped shopping at Best Buy years ago.

I dislike this sort of approach and it seems entirely out of place at a bookstore where I should feel all homey and happy. There should be a shelf of new releases in fiction and another in nonfiction. A shelf with the New York Times bestseller list would actually stand alone as a reason for me to buy some of them. I want to go to a bookstore where I can't walk 10 feet without finding a reason to pick up a book and at least feel the cover and read the blurbs. Books A Million, you are only successful because of your location. Given any choices whatsoever, the book buying regulars of the world would most assuredly go elsewhere.

I have gotten that off my chest. John and I like to walk to the suburban wasteland of strip center type marketplace near our house. We love it. We can walk there, buy some books and some dog food, eat some sushi, partake in a lovely selection of beers at any number of outlets, buy some insurance and get a tan before we walk home. Our walk is a great time to talk and to tell each other how great we are. I am thinking that this is why we love it so much, and why we love each other.

We made it to Books A Million this morning and settled on a few. I am reading The Poisonwood Bible this week. It is a strange selection for me but I have been looking at it for so long that I am just going to go ahead and read it. My other selection is Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri. I think I am most excited about this one. I am a literature major and will be graduation this semester. Through my literature classes I have been forced to read books I would never have read otherwise. One of the reasons I have appreciated about this fact is that I have been introduced to authors from abroad. I have learned so much from these authors and it has changed my perspective of many things. I am anxious to get into these books tomorrow.

I love UTNE magazine. I think the proper way to refer to it is the Utne Reader, but I am not sure. This month's issue is about 50 Visionaries Who are Changing Our World and I can't wait to get into it. I bought this at the book store but I plan to go ahead, break down, and get a subscription.

I will post my thoughts on these at the end of the week. I would love to continue breaking out of my comfort zone with my reading and jumping into new territory. I may have to take some more classes in order to do accomplish that particular goal. My personal goal to have read as many books as possible in order to continue to grow, change, and evolve is only possible if I am willing to read things I don't feel I will like and to see the world through the perspective of the authors who probably don't shop at the same Books A Million I visited with my husband today.

Unlock Your Inner Tourette's

2009-11-28T08:00:00.005-06:00

Jeffery Koterba has Tourette's and has written about his experience. The article in The Daily Beast has allowed me an interesting little journey this morning into the world of Tourette's. The article is almost a defense of Tourette's, an appreciation, of sorts. Koterba explains why he appreciates the fact that he has this rare syndrome and a little about how his mind works.

Koterba is a political cartoonist with the Omaha Herald. His work is engaging, satirical and shows a perspective which will either make you nod your head, or shake it. http://www.cagle.com/politicalcartoons/pccartoons/archives/koterba.asp?Action=GetImage

Some of it is fairly innocuous and can leave you looking for the next one for an entire part of the morning.

His point with writing about his experience with Tourette's seems to be to explain his creative process. He speaks volumes about his "muse" and the constant struggle he maintains within his own mind. He laments that he will never know, but he doesn't think his life would be as creative if he didn't live with the conversations he has to have with himself because of his Tourette's.

I read the article and found myself imitating the descriptions of the symptoms of his syndrome. The strain he must feel to be so conflicted as he attempts to NOT do what his brain is telling him to do became acutely apparent as I read the article. I now wonder if all of us have a little Tourette's in us as we partake in self talk while reliving a conversation we had over a strenuous family Thanksgiving dinner or mouth the words spoken in anger several hours earlier.

How interesting it must be to understand that there is always the possibility of making a spectacle of yourself or at the very least, making someone notice one of your idiosyncrasies. However, how INTERESTING it actually WOULD be to occasionally give in to the idiosyncrasies which reach out from within and actually want to manifest. There would be a lot of satisfaction in being able to twitch when something strikes you as stressful or to understand that one your feelings toward a movement or a word spoken might cause someone around you to pause and take notice, or perhaps to think you are ... odd.

The article is excellent. It made me go beyond empathizing and took me to actually relating. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-11-22/in-praise-of-tourettes/?cid=topic:featured3 The true personality of the author may not have been revealed and his entire plight is not recognized nor examined in the article. It is a fleeting glimpse into his mind and for just a moment I understood a defense of Tourette's.

As I sat here on the bed discussing the article with my teenage children and husband as we attempt to come out of our Thanksgiving weekend laziness, we all decided that Koterba has a gift. His perception of his syndrome as a way to see the world through a different perspective than most of the people around him is enlightening for the rest of us as maybe we may actually be able to see through the world similarly. Maybe we all need to unlock our inner Tourette's, give it a hug, and share it with others.

Read. Engage.

2009-11-27T14:58:00.007-06:00

The best way I can imagine to be completely certain that I grow and evolve as a person is to read a wide variety of literature. I believe strongly that we are the sum of our experiences and through reading we provide ourselves with experiences from which we can learn and grow. It is impossible to stay the same person after reading a something thought provoking in some way. Through reading great, and not so great, literature of all kinds a person changes a little in one way or another. Through this change we evolve, change, and grasp new perspectives which may lead to great maturity.

How can a person read Ayn Rand without having an emotional reaction? The reaction a person has after reading Rand tends to be on one extreme of the emotional perspective or another and the reaction tends to be one which the reader refers to for the rest of their life. To Kill a Mockingbird finds its way to the lists of so many people for a plethora of reasons. I was an adult when I finally sat down to read Harper Lee's only known novel and it effected me deeply. Atticus will always be a part of my parenting style and my heart will forever be intertwined in the lives of the characters in Maycomb and with Scout. I think we are all just a little bit Scout. Lord of the Flies stirs the emotions of the reader and the effect is the inability to look at mob rule again. I was a child in bed with the chicken pox when I read Lord of the Flies and I have spent the last 28 years since thinking about the rawness of survival and the personality of the pack.

There are so many books which have made me who I am and if I were a more artistic person I could perhaps represent it in a more visual manner. I would paint a picture of a person covered with expressions and words from books and magazine articles and newspaper features... I would paint the fingers with vivid colors representing the spectrum of emotions felt while reaching out to places I never would have gone without the words written by authors who lived it or imagined it. The windows to the soul would be translucent.

In order to continue the journey I am going to add writing to the growth experience. I will review and discuss all sorts of literature right here on the blog. I will read, write and grow. Hopefully the journey will continue to be dangerous and the outcome will continue to elude me.